When to call it quits

If you have followed this blog you would of read my post back here about breastfeeding and how I had so many mixed emotions on whether or not I should still be breastfeeding. Here is the update...
We have stopped breastfeeding since February 1, 2015.

I will say it was a rough week in the morning and bedtime routines. Overall, we survived and so can you! I googled several methods of weaning, but none of them sound right for me.
The two most appalling ones for me was to either put vinegar or lime juice over my nipple so that when your baby/toddler goes to feed it gives them a bad taste in their mouth. Yeah that would not work. I know I wouldn't like being lied too and didn't want to traumatize my daughter.

Here are my top 3 tips for weaning:

• Be honest with your toddler. I let my mini know that Mommy wasn't able to make any more milk. (Which was true. I get VERY soar because there were several mornings and evenings that she didn't feed to wanting milk after days of not. It wasn't working out anymore and would cause for both of us to be upset.)
• Be patient. My mini was very upset and took it out more on her dad. Make sure you prepare dad in case any frustration is taken out on him. I would let her pick 2 books during the transition to fill more of the bedtime routine and would ask her to tell me what was bothering her. I didn't let her get to tantrum mode, but was a little more understand during the morning/ bedtime. 
• Keep the breast hidden. I made sure that if I was getting dressed or undressed I was in the bathroom rather than my room for the transition. This just kept them out of sight and out of her mind about wanting to feed.

Remember you may be concerned about how your little is doing, but make sure you are aware of how you are feeling. Make sure to take some time for you and talk with someone how you are during this transition. I know I was worried that now my daughter wasn't going to want me anymore, but to be honest I think she wants me even more now. Not breastfeeding in the mornings has allowed us to cuddle with those extra 15 minutes we would of been feeding before I drop her off at daycare. We also get in some extra snuggles at night. If that is what is preventing you let me testify that you will get through it and life will be okay.

If you are reading this and never breastfed that is okay too. Is there any advice to how you weaned your baby off the bottle? I would love to hear from you. 

Working Mom Guilt

This next week I will be attending a conference in another town 2 1/2 hours away. Instead of driving back and forth each day I decided that it would be best to stay overnight at a hotel. Unfortunately I didn't pay attention to dates and thought it was over the weekend rather than during the week. Last month I realized that I would be away from my daughter for the first time. 

My first instinct was to cancel my registration and just deal with my losses. The nerves I get from leaving her alone just makes me feel guilty. I should paid attention to the dates and found something else. As the saying goes, I'm going to put on my big girl panties and just go with it. 

This is just one example of the many guilty feelings I get. I feel terrible when my daughter is crying in the morning waking her up and she's telling me she doesn't want to go to Tia's. She just wants to cuddle. It kills me inside, but I know in my heart she will be fine. The opposite will happen when I go pick her up and she won't want to leave. 

It kills me to leave her when she's feeling sick. Thankfully when she is my husband is 99% of the time able to take off work allowing me to save my family illness days for the times when he is out of town on business, but no one can be 'mommy doctor'. 

I know that I will be missing her dance classes this coming fall with the way my class schedule is. Although I have a supportive husband and parents who will help me with my daughter I want to be the one gets those moments with her. 



I know I struggle with 'mommy guilt' a lot. I want to do everything for my daughter and be there for every single moment. What helps the most to get past the guilt is having a supportive husband. He constantly is reassuring me that I do a lot for our daughter and she knows she is loved. Secondly I have supportive parents. I honestly don't know what my husband and I would have done so far without them. They are honestly my daughter’s second parents. I know that whenever my husband and I can't be around she with people who love her just as much as we do. Third, have an awesome sitter/ daycare provider. Thankfully my aunt watches my daughter. I'm so blessed that someone who treats her like one of her own watches her. 

There is no easy prescription to treat 'Mommy Guilt', but I've just come to realize that although I have to do something for me. It does not mean that I'm any less of a mom than one that gets to stay home. I just have to pick what's worth it to me. I know that I needed to have some time for myself and rather than taking away time from my little I workout in the early morning while she's still asleep and my husband stays with her in case she wakes up. I know this may not be an option for all, but it really works for our family. There may be times that the husband is out of town and I have to adjust my schedule, but I do what is best for my little and myself. 

Do you ever experience working mom guilt? What do you do about it?

Wednesday Workout

I shared this on my instagram account yesterday in honor of Transformation Tuesday. I finally had hit a milestone in my running. My interval training has been consistently running a 400 m under 10 minutes.
As I reflect on the past two years of training I thought I was always bound to have an average pace of 15 min/mile. I can't even tell you how many times I have just wanted to hit snooze and sleep in. My favorite is watch that one show live versus watching it 3 days later on "On Demand". But I made a commitment to myself. The benefit from this is I can see my average mile pace has been decreasing steadily.
I know I have a long ways to go, but I'm celebrating this milestone. I did this and no one else. Now onto my for my second "official" half marathon training.

I have been getting a lot of questions of what keeps me motivated and here is my response.

Rule number 1:
Pick a consistent time for your workout and decide that this is worth it.

Rule number 2:
Get your things around the night before. (This helps with less scrambling in the morning and prevents waking up any of your little's.)

Rule number 3:
Share with everyone that your working out. This has really helped me be accountable. I do this along with sharing it on Instagram. I have found motivation from others that has helped me stay motivated and I also help inspire others. So everyone benefits!

Rule number 4:
After you have done it awhile and the flame has died out a bit. Go shopping for some new workout gear. No I'm not condoning you spend a lot of money that you go in debit, but find something small (headband, tank top, or socks). This may not make sense right now, but you have no idea how fun it is for that little reward in the middle of the training.

Rule number 5:
Sign up for a race or some sort of competition that you can work towards.

When to WEAN?!?

I'm just going to put it out there. I still breastfeed my daughter. I can picture your eye rolls and shocked faces. My whole belief on breastfeeding was keep going till you can. My first couple months experience with breastfeeding was rough. It was really hard to keep up with pumping when I was away from my daughter because I felt like I could never pump enough with what was being used.

Fast forward to her first birthday that was a milestone. I made it one year. Around that same time I was getting told by several people that I should look into weaning my daughter off. I just smiled and didn't say anything. They made it seem that by her being one and still breastfeeding was a horrible thing.

Now fast forward to being 4 days away from her second birthday and I'm still breastfeeding. Trust me it's down to two feedings, but yes I'm still breastfeeding. Once again I'm being told it's time to really start the weaning. I know that WHO recommends breastfeeding till two, but what now? I made it till her second birthday, but now I'm lost. Now I'm thinking I need to start listening to the people who are bringing up the weaning topic.

I have asked several of my mom friends I look up to and asked for their advice on this topic. Unfortunately many of them had to end for one reason or another and this is what brings me to the whole reason for sharing this.
What would be your advice?
How do you even approach weaning?
I am a mess when it comes to my baby crying. Any mothers out there can help this mother with weaning so I don't have my daughter and myself crying?

MIA

I was really hoping this summer to relax and just worry about taking the Praxis before I started back in the fall for school. Well about 2 weeks after graduating it was suggested to me that it may be best to retake statistics. Which I didn't think it would be that bad. I had the option to signing up for an 8 week course which didn't sound so bad at first. BUT everything was different once I really dove into it past the second week. I needed to do well and was doing my best to make sure I got as many points as possible on quizzes and spent a number of hours working and reworking problems so that I could better understand. Explaining why I haven't been as faithful to writing on the blog.
Long story short Statistics was really putting a damper on my summer. I basically lived and breathed stats between spending time with my daughter. I had Izzy play as much as possible so during nap time I could get some practice on my homework problems in.
Everything changed last night. I took the final and was completely done. I was so happy with myself that I dug deep and got it done. In honor of passing here are some humor pictures of how I felt about Stats these last 8 weeks.

Delivery

Part 2: (If you missed part one you can read it here)
Once I got past the rude paramedic woman making me feel awful about not feeling the baby move. I was rushed to delivery.
I was asked a bunch of questions about family medical history and my current lifestyle (eating and fitness). It felt so unreal that I was actually in a delivery room, but alone. My mom hadn't arrived yet since the ambulance had to turn on the sirens to rush me to the hospital. I didn't know exactly when my husband would get there as he was trouble finding the spare set of keys.

Finally my mom arrived and I had someone to provide moral support. Next thing I know they have me hooked to monitors and am getting an ultrasound. Within a couple minutes my husband shows up and finally I can break down and share how nervous I was. The tech starts measuring and we are told our baby is measuring at 36 weeks. (How can this be? I just had back pain.)

We get told by the nurse that I was going to be there a while since it was my first baby. So we better get comfortable. I shortly then have the doctor come in and she lets me know they need to break my water since my contractions are irregular. (I'm still thinking they are back pains.) The only thing logical thing for me to do was ask for my epidural. I mean come on isn't that what everyone gets? The nurse kindly let me know that I had 3 other women in front of me and we would have to see how far along I was before I got mine. (Basically told me SOL sister you're too far along!!!)

I had another "back pain", contraction, and the nurse told me I better practice pushing. I reminded her that I never had a "lamas class", so I didn't know how to push. So I just started pushing. I guess I was a natural because she let me know I needed to stop that the baby was coming. She ran out the door to call the doctor. Another one was coming on while she was out. The only natural thing was to push. I could hear the doctor coming in and was slowly getting her gloves on. She only had time to get them on and the nurse to get the pad down and our little girl was born.

And most importantly: MY BACK PAIN ENDED!!!

Movie Monday